6 REASONS WHY YOUR WEBSITE IS UPSETTING SANTA

HO HO NO! Santa is not impressed with you, readers.

It is the most wonderful time of the year. All of us from CHC towers want to wish you a merry christmas but you will have to earn a happy new year. Word has gotten out that you barely made Saint Nick’s nice list. Mr. Claus admired your online attempts but he is very disappointed that you really did not kick on in 2014. 2015 can be your year and consolidate yourself on the nice list for eternity.

Santa has kept up with the times. So why haven’t you? Santa is on twitter, Facebook and instagram. He blogs, vlogs & podcasts. I have a sneaking suspicion that he is also on Tinder but keep that under your hat. You know how Mrs. Claus gets, especially with Santa’s recent amount of “working late” excuses.

But how do we get you & your small business back on Santa’s good side? Here are 6 reasons why we think your website is upsetting Santa!

1) Visually:

“I love your excessive use of yellow” – Said no one ever.

Is your website a Rudolph or a Donner? What does Donner look like? Yeah, exactly. No one knows. Donner could be sitting beside you on a bus and you wouldn’t know. It would be weird that a reindeer is sitting on a bus but that is not the point. Back to your website. You want it to make a great first impression. We all love developers but they often are not that design savvy. Their priorities lie in the smooth running of the website. A beautifully designed website can dramatically improve the user experience. Your message can roll off the screen and into the users heart.

Make sure your website designers believe in love on the inside and OUT!!

2) Lacks Focus & Message:

“I loved how long it took for me to understand what you were selling” – Yeah, no one said that ever either.

What is the point of your website? You only have a few seconds to capture and maintain your users attention. Especially when “All I Want For Christmas” by Mariah Carey is coming to an end on his youtube tab. For example, if you are selling anti-depressants for elves, it’s crucial that your user (Santa) knows who you are, what you do, how & where they can get the cure for low elf esteem.

Those elves need to get back to school to learn the Elf-abet! Too much time has been missed.

3) Hard to Find (Poor SEO):

“It is a great idea to make your website impossible to find” – Aye, same same.

Google is no longer just a search engine. It is a league table. The best place to bury a dead body is the second page of Google. There is very little point in creating a glorious website without anyone to see it. It may as well be at the bottom of the sea. What did the sea say to Santa? Nothing, it just waved.

Santa may find your well behaved children in the middle of the nowhere but the standard user will not find you or your business. However, the evolving nature of search engines means you may not keep reaching the top spot as your competitors adjust their search terms. Here at CHC, we offer advanced SEO. This is an ongoing service that ensures the continued development of your own search terms to keep you in the best possible position.

Santa has a clever way of using SEO. Mr. Claus tends to hire a smelly elf as CEO because he gets RANK.

4) Uses Flash:

“You know how everyone uses their phones to go online nowadays? I really commend you for not going with the flow.” – Nope. No one.

Flash does not work on Apple mobile devices and Santa is always on the go. St. Nick needs to check his various apple products throughout the Christmas period. The iPad alone represents a 1/4 of all web traffic and Adobe are kicking it to the curb for mobile devices. Think about it, is the dancing elf on your homepage really necessary? Just because you find it funny, doesn’t mean that everyone else does. Your website must suit everyone, you cannot be elfish about this.

Unless you don’t want Santa to find you. What are you? Claustrophobic?

5) Content:

“The last blog posted in 2005…..inspirational idea” – Someone might have said that, but very sarcastically.

Your content needs to be consistent. Plenty of small businesses are capable of creating brilliant and fresh content but will not do it enough. 1 blog a year is not enough. Your content is not Santa Claus. We expect it more than once a year. Consistent blogs will hugely help your SEO and help show the world that you are a thought leader. It is time to show off your knowledge rather than thinking it is your secret weapon. No more being a mince spy.

What’s Santa’s secret weapon? The fact that he is still able to go down the chimney despite it being declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission. However, commuting via chimney does soot him.

6) Awful user experience:

“I spent so long trying to find the buy button…..it was so much fun” – You do understand sarcasm, yes?

The user experience is everything. Every successful company has a superb user experience. The experience must be easy and painless. How did Santa get so popular? It is no coincidence that all you have to do is write a list of things you want and place them up the chimney. It could help that Santa gives away free presents but the user experience, without a doubt, is superbly enjoyable. A great user experience can do wonders. It is proven to increase sales, brand awareness, improve Google search results and generate happiness even in the most scrooge like characters.

How did Ebenezer Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of christmas passed!

Merry Christmas from all here at CHC Digital. Get in touch! to talk about creating a website that will make Santa delighted!

Digital marketers want your website with a nose so bright, to guide the user’s sleigh tonigh

If you fancy a chat about all things digital or you want some tips & tricks, throw me a mail on brian@occamdigital.com. 

I wrote this for my old company, CHC Digital.